More Indie Horror
July 17th 2008 15:52
Clever title, no? No. Also, there's probably a bit more cash behind these two than Gutterballs or Knock, Knock
As I continued my slasher movie fiesta, how could I resist one with a puppet?
Triloquist
Stupid, stupid Josh. What an awful, awful movie. As you can see, the puppet looks neither scary, nor funny, and the film echoes that. The dummy in question is named "Dummy" and the other two dummies are Angelina and Norbert, a brother & sister duo who take to the road when Angelina decides their act is ready for the stage in Vegas. They leave a trail of bodies in their wake, sometimes for no particular reason, and part-way through, because Angelina decides they need to find someone for Norbert to impregnate. Not getting any better is, it? Paydin LoPachin (Angelina) is quite lovely, but listening to her bark 'Bet you want me to bl-w you!' or 'Don't you want to f-ck me?' (I'm paraphrasing...barely) at people for an hour-and-a-half drops her stock considerably. There's one moment toward the end that's borderline clever, but that only made me think about how much better a film Triloquist would've been if it had gone in that direction from the beginning. My wife has since declared that this is the "worst movie I've ever seen. Ever." She hasn't seen half the trash I have though, so I'm saying it's just really, really bad. (2/10)
So there I was, questioning why I even bother with the garbage...crying on the breeze...the pain was calling...oh, Mandy you came and you gave without taking
All the Boys Love Mandy Lane
present company included. Another throwback to the classics, but Mandy Lane also has a foot planted in the present. As the film begins, we learn that Mandy "got hot" over the summer - apparently she used to be as big a nerd as her dorky friend. Because Mandy
doesn't suck (and, refreshingly, takes itself fairly seriously) there aren't any "before" scenes of Mandy, though it would've been funny to see the filmmakers try to ugly up Amber Heard.
I don't think Coke bottle glasses and and bad wig would've cut it.
Anyway, now that Mandy has blossomed, the "cool kids" want to hang out (or, more accurately, score) with her and they invite her to a weekend at a lake house. After a nice build-up, the bodies start to pile up. Is it the work of the strange (though handsome) caretaker? One of Mandy's new friends, out to eliminate his competition? Mandy's nerd friend? Maybe it's the locals the gang managed to piss off en route to the cabin. Mandy Lane answers the question, at least partially, fairly quickly, but doesn't really lose any of its suspense.
I really liked just about everything about this one, the story, the cast, the throwback soundtrack, and especially the cinematography. I can't remember the last movie I saw in this genre that was shot as beautifully or looked as original as this, and when it looks like you give a sh-t about your movie it goes a long way in my book. Sure, there are some slow spots, but more often than not, it felt like they were actually taking time to build tension (remember that?) and not just killing time. If the same talent stays behind the camera, I'm up for the sequel, even if Ms. Heard
is probably going to see her career shoot right past of this type of thing after The Pineapple Express. Maybe they could just pick a different girl who gets hot for each installment of the All the Boys Love... franchise. She's in The Stepfather remake, too, but let's not hold that against her. Yet. But that has to suck, right?
As I continued my slasher movie fiesta, how could I resist one with a puppet?
Triloquist
Stupid, stupid Josh. What an awful, awful movie. As you can see, the puppet looks neither scary, nor funny, and the film echoes that. The dummy in question is named "Dummy" and the other two dummies are Angelina and Norbert, a brother & sister duo who take to the road when Angelina decides their act is ready for the stage in Vegas. They leave a trail of bodies in their wake, sometimes for no particular reason, and part-way through, because Angelina decides they need to find someone for Norbert to impregnate. Not getting any better is, it? Paydin LoPachin (Angelina) is quite lovely, but listening to her bark 'Bet you want me to bl-w you!' or 'Don't you want to f-ck me?' (I'm paraphrasing...barely) at people for an hour-and-a-half drops her stock considerably. There's one moment toward the end that's borderline clever, but that only made me think about how much better a film Triloquist would've been if it had gone in that direction from the beginning. My wife has since declared that this is the "worst movie I've ever seen. Ever." She hasn't seen half the trash I have though, so I'm saying it's just really, really bad. (2/10)
So there I was, questioning why I even bother with the garbage...crying on the breeze...the pain was calling...oh, Mandy you came and you gave without taking
All the Boys Love Mandy Lane
present company included. Another throwback to the classics, but Mandy Lane also has a foot planted in the present. As the film begins, we learn that Mandy "got hot" over the summer - apparently she used to be as big a nerd as her dorky friend. Because Mandy
doesn't suck (and, refreshingly, takes itself fairly seriously) there aren't any "before" scenes of Mandy, though it would've been funny to see the filmmakers try to ugly up Amber Heard.
I don't think Coke bottle glasses and and bad wig would've cut it.
Anyway, now that Mandy has blossomed, the "cool kids" want to hang out (or, more accurately, score) with her and they invite her to a weekend at a lake house. After a nice build-up, the bodies start to pile up. Is it the work of the strange (though handsome) caretaker? One of Mandy's new friends, out to eliminate his competition? Mandy's nerd friend? Maybe it's the locals the gang managed to piss off en route to the cabin. Mandy Lane answers the question, at least partially, fairly quickly, but doesn't really lose any of its suspense.
I really liked just about everything about this one, the story, the cast, the throwback soundtrack, and especially the cinematography. I can't remember the last movie I saw in this genre that was shot as beautifully or looked as original as this, and when it looks like you give a sh-t about your movie it goes a long way in my book. Sure, there are some slow spots, but more often than not, it felt like they were actually taking time to build tension (remember that?) and not just killing time. If the same talent stays behind the camera, I'm up for the sequel, even if Ms. Heard
is probably going to see her career shoot right past of this type of thing after The Pineapple Express. Maybe they could just pick a different girl who gets hot for each installment of the All the Boys Love... franchise. She's in The Stepfather remake, too, but let's not hold that against her. Yet. But that has to suck, right?
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