Dead Things, After Dark
April 10th 2008 00:24
Nothing but horror (and horrible) movies this week.
I finally got to see Diary of the Dead (8/10)
and I'm happy to report that it's actually pretty good (though perhaps an 8/10 is a bit generous). George Romero brings the zombies back for some more people-chompin' and both he and they are no worse for wear than they were in Land of the Dead a couple of years back (take that as you will). Diary appears to be a complete reboot of the whole franchise, though, as we watch the zombies' initial rise during our current YouTube-happy times. The overwhelming availability of media and the ability to create it for good or ill is one of the main "ideas" that is never far from the surface - if you don't like social commentary with your bloodthirsty undead, stay far away from this one. Personally, I didn't mind...it's not like it's the first time George has snuck a few ideas into his buckets of gore (though this might be the most blatant example). This time 'round, we're introduced to some student filmmakers whose director decides to capture the zombies rise on film. Unlike Cloverfield, we get a (sort-of) reasonable answer to the question "Why on earth would you do that while zombies/a giant monster are chasing you?" Diary intends to represent the images they capture, grain and all (as well as some security camera footage, news clips and the like). The cast of unknowns are all surprisingly assured and the effects are for the most part excellent and inventive. The heroes' trek from Western PA to a promise of safety just outside of Philadelphia was a fun detail, too - for me. Really, I should note that I'm highly susceptible to Romero's PA charms: the mall from the original Dawn was the same mall where I did my youthful Xmas shopping and his lumbering creatures have been with me for much of my life, so I'd be hard-pressed to hate on any of his work. Sure, there are a few missteps and plot holes here, but even the casual fan will probably have a good time with Diary of the Dead.
The recent direct-to-video remake of Day of the Dead (4/10) is a different story. Many regard the original Day as a lesser entry in the "saga", but I've always had a bit of a soft spot for it. Rather than remake its civilians vs. military (vs. zombies) craziness, this one simply has the dead rising in Colorado (presumably elsewhere, too) , so the military start doing what they do - quarantining areas, setting up roadblocks, shooting zombies, etc. That they are sort of d-cks to the civilians they encounter is about as close you'll get to a re-creation of the original's inter-"living" tension. There's also a zombie they name "Bud" (like how there was "Bub" in the original film! Get it? Ugh.) The whole "fast" zombie thing gets an unnecessary shot of steroids that turned me off even more, and Mena Suvari as a tough-as-nails military officer doesn't really cut it either. Don't let the appearance of Ving Rhames fool you, this has no connection to the recent Dawn of the Dead, but if you're just out for blood, it's almost passable.
In addition to the multitude of zombies I've subjected myself to the past few days, I also made the mistake of checking out a few of the "8 Films to Die For" in the After Dark Horrorfest 2007 series. My biggest regret? That I can't stop, even though they almost all suck. Here are a few quick reviews of the ones of I've seen so far, lest you be intrigued enough to rent (or god forbid, buy) one (or god forbid, all) of them.
The Deaths of Ian Stone (5/10)
is one of the better ones, 'til about the halfway point. In the beginning, it's one of those rare things: a scary horror movie. Ian dies (or is killed by a creepy black-misty creature) and wakes up the next day in a different life, only to die again at the end of the day. Unfortunately, the Jacob's Ladder-y beginning gives way to an impossibly lame mythology about the creatures who we begin to see more and more of, until it gets to the point where poor Ian can't swing a dead cat without hitting one. Dexter's crazy girlfriend, Jamie Murray, is a treat as a (possibly) crazy girlfriend of Ian, but that's about it after the filmmakers suck all of the suspense and terror out of Ian's deaths. Booooooo!
Crazy Eights (3/10)
is about a group of adults who, as children, were "experimented on" and who share an even more terrible secret. They're reunited (It & Big Chill-style) by the death of one of their own and they end up, unsurprisingly at the scene of their trauma. There are a couple of nifty gore effects, and the cast (including Frank Whaley, Gabrielle Anwar, and, um...Traci Lords?) is probably the most recognizable (quite a compliment, I know) of all of the "8 Films." I think I've reached my limit with creepy-little-girl hauntings, though.
Unearthed (3/10)
isn't much different than the only-slightly-better Feast (which was only interesting because of its Project: Greenlight backstory), with another monster running around in the desert. Do Native Americans hold the key to defeating it? Umm...sort of. Is Emmanuelle Vaugier convincing as the small town's hard-drinking sheriff? Not especially, but she's pretty to look at, and you need something to distract you from the nonsense, and the creature itself just doesn't cut it in that department.
Lake Dead (2/10)
is by far the worst of the lot (so far, anyway). It's another entry in the Crazy Hillbillies vs. Slutty Dummies genre, and it's probably the worst of those, too. The production values, music and acting would probably even have kept this out of the USA Up All Night b-movie trash heap of yesteryear. Yuck.
Last but certainly not least is Mulberry Street (6/10), in which some rats turn NYers into zombie-ish creatures...who resemble rats. Rat zombies? Rat monsters? I don't know, but it felt original, the very low-budget grit of the real NYC locations kept me interested and the cast of characters populating the apartment building under siege kept me rooting for them, even if one of them can apparently sucker-punch the rat monsters to death. Still not sure how I felt about that ending; I think it's the one moment where the film actually might have suffered from the lack of experience from all involved, though. But Mulberry Street is my pick of these five, and thankfully I only have three more to go.
I finally got to see Diary of the Dead (8/10)
and I'm happy to report that it's actually pretty good (though perhaps an 8/10 is a bit generous). George Romero brings the zombies back for some more people-chompin' and both he and they are no worse for wear than they were in Land of the Dead a couple of years back (take that as you will). Diary appears to be a complete reboot of the whole franchise, though, as we watch the zombies' initial rise during our current YouTube-happy times. The overwhelming availability of media and the ability to create it for good or ill is one of the main "ideas" that is never far from the surface - if you don't like social commentary with your bloodthirsty undead, stay far away from this one. Personally, I didn't mind...it's not like it's the first time George has snuck a few ideas into his buckets of gore (though this might be the most blatant example). This time 'round, we're introduced to some student filmmakers whose director decides to capture the zombies rise on film. Unlike Cloverfield, we get a (sort-of) reasonable answer to the question "Why on earth would you do that while zombies/a giant monster are chasing you?" Diary intends to represent the images they capture, grain and all (as well as some security camera footage, news clips and the like). The cast of unknowns are all surprisingly assured and the effects are for the most part excellent and inventive. The heroes' trek from Western PA to a promise of safety just outside of Philadelphia was a fun detail, too - for me. Really, I should note that I'm highly susceptible to Romero's PA charms: the mall from the original Dawn was the same mall where I did my youthful Xmas shopping and his lumbering creatures have been with me for much of my life, so I'd be hard-pressed to hate on any of his work. Sure, there are a few missteps and plot holes here, but even the casual fan will probably have a good time with Diary of the Dead.
The recent direct-to-video remake of Day of the Dead (4/10) is a different story. Many regard the original Day as a lesser entry in the "saga", but I've always had a bit of a soft spot for it. Rather than remake its civilians vs. military (vs. zombies) craziness, this one simply has the dead rising in Colorado (presumably elsewhere, too) , so the military start doing what they do - quarantining areas, setting up roadblocks, shooting zombies, etc. That they are sort of d-cks to the civilians they encounter is about as close you'll get to a re-creation of the original's inter-"living" tension. There's also a zombie they name "Bud" (like how there was "Bub" in the original film! Get it? Ugh.) The whole "fast" zombie thing gets an unnecessary shot of steroids that turned me off even more, and Mena Suvari as a tough-as-nails military officer doesn't really cut it either. Don't let the appearance of Ving Rhames fool you, this has no connection to the recent Dawn of the Dead, but if you're just out for blood, it's almost passable.
In addition to the multitude of zombies I've subjected myself to the past few days, I also made the mistake of checking out a few of the "8 Films to Die For" in the After Dark Horrorfest 2007 series. My biggest regret? That I can't stop, even though they almost all suck. Here are a few quick reviews of the ones of I've seen so far, lest you be intrigued enough to rent (or god forbid, buy) one (or god forbid, all) of them.
The Deaths of Ian Stone (5/10)
is one of the better ones, 'til about the halfway point. In the beginning, it's one of those rare things: a scary horror movie. Ian dies (or is killed by a creepy black-misty creature) and wakes up the next day in a different life, only to die again at the end of the day. Unfortunately, the Jacob's Ladder-y beginning gives way to an impossibly lame mythology about the creatures who we begin to see more and more of, until it gets to the point where poor Ian can't swing a dead cat without hitting one. Dexter's crazy girlfriend, Jamie Murray, is a treat as a (possibly) crazy girlfriend of Ian, but that's about it after the filmmakers suck all of the suspense and terror out of Ian's deaths. Booooooo!
Crazy Eights (3/10)
is about a group of adults who, as children, were "experimented on" and who share an even more terrible secret. They're reunited (It & Big Chill-style) by the death of one of their own and they end up, unsurprisingly at the scene of their trauma. There are a couple of nifty gore effects, and the cast (including Frank Whaley, Gabrielle Anwar, and, um...Traci Lords?) is probably the most recognizable (quite a compliment, I know) of all of the "8 Films." I think I've reached my limit with creepy-little-girl hauntings, though.
Unearthed (3/10)
isn't much different than the only-slightly-better Feast (which was only interesting because of its Project: Greenlight backstory), with another monster running around in the desert. Do Native Americans hold the key to defeating it? Umm...sort of. Is Emmanuelle Vaugier convincing as the small town's hard-drinking sheriff? Not especially, but she's pretty to look at, and you need something to distract you from the nonsense, and the creature itself just doesn't cut it in that department.
Lake Dead (2/10)
is by far the worst of the lot (so far, anyway). It's another entry in the Crazy Hillbillies vs. Slutty Dummies genre, and it's probably the worst of those, too. The production values, music and acting would probably even have kept this out of the USA Up All Night b-movie trash heap of yesteryear. Yuck.
Last but certainly not least is Mulberry Street (6/10), in which some rats turn NYers into zombie-ish creatures...who resemble rats. Rat zombies? Rat monsters? I don't know, but it felt original, the very low-budget grit of the real NYC locations kept me interested and the cast of characters populating the apartment building under siege kept me rooting for them, even if one of them can apparently sucker-punch the rat monsters to death. Still not sure how I felt about that ending; I think it's the one moment where the film actually might have suffered from the lack of experience from all involved, though. But Mulberry Street is my pick of these five, and thankfully I only have three more to go.
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Comment by Cibbuano
20/20 Filmsight
Science News
Hunt Famous
Orble Post of the Day
Fat Cult
Techbreak
...also, I wasn't expecting much from the Day of the Dead remake.
Some advice: you should separate all these reviews into several posts - they'll all attract traffic much better if they've got titles and pictures!
Comment by joshisgreat
Comment by Bryn
Horrorphile
The Deaths of Ian Stone could've been so much better. Real shame they lost the plot ... check my review here